modemgirl

these pervs are sick and sewage treatment plants
around the unsatisfied delicate newcomer does bed-dancin
wixted was beaten. with I hope they get
john’s school for the deaf but remained into the movement.
i cany believe. it hurts others. less 35 minutes. ago
Its them who. are protected

as some of you may have heard, i’ve recently crossed a threshold i’ve been adamant i would never cross. that is, until i could afford to, at which point i’ve known all along i would do so gleefully while screaming and running as fast a possible in the other direction. yes, it’s true, i bought a mac. thanks to toph as well as the myriad of others who offered support during this difficult transition.

ripping on fanboys has always been a favorite hobby of mine, mostly just because i like to be a jerk sometimes. also because well, they’re kinda obnoxious. especially when i’m the one having a mental breakdown, zapping my p-ram while searching for drivers that don’t exist, attempting to interpret why exactly my IRQS are NOT LESS OR EQUAL, and attempting to deal with the existential crisis that is: operating system not found. and they’re sitting there ever so earnest/smugly, with their sweater vests and stylishly minimalist hardware. with their stupid laptop that’s probably working out the cure for cancer while magically backing itself up to a server in the sky and making them breakfast in bed. the laptop that drinks a latte while they watch me rage/flail with a mixture of pity and disgust as time after time the smallest tasks turns into a one way trip down to the suckfest that is windows troubleshooting purgatory. for example. here is a transcript of me trying to watch an episode of my favorite show, cookie party! from the other day.

CLICK.

what the hell, the video is all choppy and the audio isn’t synced. stupid thing was working yesterday… maybe i’ll try a different episode…… file not found, what do you mean file not found? i just watched that one, ass! okay fine, i’ll click here to locate it myself. now my external hard drive isn’t mounting? ughh ok, re-seat the usb and ok, there we go. now where’s that stupid file? what? ok, windows ffffff there it is …. sorry but you’re missing .r10, please insert the disk with .r10 to continue. what the hell, way to know how to rip video, idiots. i re-download the file from the cookie party server to find that the missing file was there all along, but named incorrectly. so how about i just rename the file and open it, but the video still looks like garbage! GROWL…. fine i’ll just try to stream it from their site. what’s this i have to install… super happy video player and fun time adbar?? and…… now there’s naked ladies and poker chips everywhere??? ARGHh i just want to watch cookie party in peace and now there’s 34830492 popups all over the place, and firefox is crashing, and the audio is frozen in a loop of the sound of a screaming baby ARGFJSDLKFSDJFSDF ABORT ABORT ABORT. try to restart properly but no love, time for the magical PUNCH IN THE FAAAAAAACE and try again. FILE SYSTEM NOT FOUND FML?!?!?!?!?!?  get xp disk and boot to recovery console, chkdsk, or maybe scandisk if you’re feeling fancy, or perhaps my old friends fixboot / fixmbr will come along and save the day! eventually finding my way back into an operating system that is trying to make my life hell, i try cookie party again and it works! perfectly. ugh. no idea.  time for a drink and this, is why i hate windows. and also why i drink.

i’m an MCSA (microsoft certified systems asshat) and i spent three years working helpdesk / sysadmin for an office of 100+ people. aka I KNOW HOW TO USE WINDOWS and IT CONSTANTLY BREAKS. partially, because i attempt to make it do things that it’s not meant to do, like run CPU intensive vinyl emulation software on an IBM T42 that should’ve been laid to rest years ago. but mostly, because of the constant incompatibility issues. so many vendors, so little standardization. initially it was a matter of principal – i’m a professional geek, right? i should be able to make my computer work! but over the past year i’ve realized that i like USING my computer a lot more than i like FIXING my computer. i spend my professional life fixing things for other people, so unless i’m getting paid, i have NO INTEREST in troubleshooting on my free time! so, i bought a mac.

it’s hilarious, because i’m so very much from windowsland. everyone said ‘oh, you’re tech savvy, it will take you like 30 minutes to figure it out!’ NOT TRUE. i feel like a little kid again with my mac, because i have no idea what’s going on. so not only do i not HAVE to troubleshoot (because THINGS WORK) but i CAN’T because I am completely clueless as to how anything works. i can’t right click. my normal button mashing does nothing. thus, using a computer is fun again. some things i love about my new mac so far: – IPHOTO. amazing. automatic syncing to flickr by dragging and dropping into album ftw. also it’s just a rad app. – didn’t have to spend 3 hours uninstalling unnecessary shit and reinstalling non-shit applications to accomplish every day tasks –  traktor installed in about 14 seconds and worked immediately (now i just need to go about getting a full copy of it, which i technically own a legal copy of, but don’t have the software or a working key) –  i haven’t gotten a single error message yet – i’m sitting in a coffee shop on the way home from yoga class drinking mocha and using a it. haha. no it’s not a starbucks.

a few weeks ago a close friend was hitting wits end due to a series of unfortunate events coming to a head all simultaneously. stressed to the max and overwhelmed with doubt and depression, i was unsure if any words i could offer would provide the solace he so much needed, so after some serious hugs i dragged him off to a hot yoga class at Yyoga.

sharing a class with someone close is something i’d never done before, and it was an amazing experience. it brought a new level of awareness to my own practice, and to the personal journey that yoga has taken me on so far. seeing him struggle through his first attempts at downward dog brought me unexpected joy, as i realized this is something that’s had a profound impact on my life and  i was so glad to be sharing it with someone, especially a friend in need.

i look back on my personal blog to a few years ago and i can’t believe the overall transformation my outlook on life has undergone. obviously i’ve made a lot of significant changes to my lifestyle, but i attribute daily yoga practice as a significant source of truth and clarity. yoga teaches focus on breath and awareness of self, and for me this has manifested in everyday life as a loss of negativity and unwillingness to buy into my own bullshit. it’s challenging to lie to yourself on the mat, when all you have to do is breathe.

38 degrees, an hour and a half and about a litre of sweat later, we lay on our mats next to each other feeling both exhausted and elevated. he looked over at me, grinning, and i could tell that momentarily all the hurt and stress had melted away and at that moment all he was thinking of was probably the huge puddle of sweat on his mat, or simply…….”holy crap.” it was beautiful to share that high with someone significant in my life, and made me realize how important it really is to me.

since then i’ve been thinking that it’s very likely i will need to find a partner who shares my passion for yoga if i truly want to be engaged and fulfilled with the relationship. or perhaps it’s not yoga specifically – but the well being, self awareness, positivity, simplicity and mindfulness that i’ve found along the road of my practice so far. either way, the day i find someone who can put these values into everyday life without being pretentious or obnoxious about it, while also being adorable and hilarious, i think will be a very happy day for me indeed. we can grow together as our virabhadrasanas (warriors) grow stronger and laugh at each other as our kakasana (crows) grow old and toes go numb from extended salamba sirsasanas (headstands).

with the openness promoted by the practice i feel it would be very challenging to harbour the toxins that eventually break down relationships. yoga strips away so much of the every day crazy, brings focus inward, while instilling clarity and peace of mind. the asanas (postures) are really only a secondary benefit of the practice. the main goal is to be present, set an intention, and breathe. and smile. and breathe.

this is my current avatar at work. thanks to the oatmeal’s article about customer service.

today i am attempting to configure cross posting between wordpress and LJ! and now,  it works! awesome awesome awesome.

next on the list:

automatic twitter updates for new posts
better flickr integration
make a logo

SOMEDAY i’ll get the stream working. oh wait i need a new laptop for that. QUIET TOPH, IM NOT BUYING A MAC.